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| This is my first summer away from home. Last summer I thought about staying in California for summer school and maybe work, but at the end changed my mind and decided to go back to Hawaii. This time, I already had a few things lined up for me to do so I decided to stay here. I'm doing research for my sociology professor, the peer mentor program, and the summer UCMPD mentor program. It's been a pretty packed and busy summer so far. After school ended in May, I went to New York with my mom just as a mother daughter trip. We both had never been there before. We stayed with some family friends in Queens/Astoria and basically toured around Manhattan the whole time. We also saw the Statue of Liberty and went to Brooklyn and Coney Island. Fun but tiring trip. Soo much walking because we only used the subways or the bus. In June, I started summer school and my job. I was planning to take a class at the UC for summer but its too expensive so I'm just taking a human development class at Merced College for fun. Still having no car to get around has been difficult but I have really nice friends who give me rides. It's different living alone in a house. During the year I had 3 other roommates, two girls and one boy, but they all went home for the summer so its just me right now. Summer days seem to go by fast. A usual week is Monday to Wednesday I have school then Thursdays are free and Fridays and Saturdays I have work then Sundays are free. Some days it get sooo hot like 90s to the 100s. I had tried to go to the pool on Fridays and Sundays but I havent gone swimming in awhile. I'm also trying to keep my tan because if I was in Hawaii I'd be tanning at the beach all the time. I went to my friend Scott's pool party/bbq in Livingston a few weeks ago which was really fun. I like jumping off the diving board and swimming at the bottom of the pool. For July 4th I went to my boyfriends house in Martinez and spent a few days there with his family. We went to the marina and watched the fireworks and hung out in their RV. The other night I went to my friend Ivans house for family dinner. Get togethers are fun, I think we're going to have a cranium night soon. That game is so fun! Summer school is over next week then I'm going to have a bunch of free time. I wanted to try going back to Hawaii in August but it doesnt look like that will happen because plane tickets are so expensive. I wish California and Hawaii were closer to each other.. | | |
| The second week of my freshmen year I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend. I planned to be single and have fun but it just happened that I fell for him and now we've been together for almost 2 years. Before college, I had had boyfriends but wasnt seeing anyone on arrival to Merced. It all happened so fast. At orientation, I met one of his suitemates who introduced me to him during the first week of school. We all hung out and became close friends. The whole first semester was fun and perfect, except that having a boyfriend during this time did play a big part in distracting me from my homework and studies. If I didnt have a boyfriend I think I wouldve done better academically. I dont regret going out with him, however I do regret some of the choices I made to manage my time better. Unfortunately, my boyfriend was kicked out second semester because of bad grades but we decided to stay together. He moved back home to the Bay Area, 2 hours away, and started school at a community college. He was always planning to transfer to a different school but hadnt planned to change schools just yet. I had never been in a long distance relationship before and neither had him. It felt like the worst day of my life because we wouldnt be with each other all the time. But we worked it out. I would take the train to him and he would drive down to see me. We switched off weekends and usually saw each other every weekend or every other weekend at most. Our relationship was based on staying in touch through our phones and online. I think the distance and feelings of missing each other added tension and stress on our relationship. We went through a phase of fighting. We each had different expectations for when the other should come and what the other person should sacrifice in order to come visit. The weekends were only 2 and a half days long and it wasnt enough. We got through second semester, however for the summer I decided to go back home to Hawaii and it would be the longest that he and I would be apart. Saying goodbye at the airport was so sad. I left California in May and didnt come back until August. During that time, we talked everyday on the phone and sometimes used webcams to talk online. The communication helped but it wasnt enough. I would talk about something I was doing or going to do or a place I'd been and he would do the same, but it was hard to understand if I wasnt there experiencing it with him. Our 1st year anniversary came rolling around at the beginning of sophomore year. I had come back to California a couple weeks earlier to spend time with him and his family. Our relationship was back to normal and still strong but our schedules got busier. I became involved with a club and we both were taking harder classes. We started seeing each other every other weekend and sometimes every two weeks. As second semester came around, our relationship started wavering as the stress and amount of effort put into the relationship started weighing on us. For me, it has been a constant battle of asking myself if it's worth it. I know that I want to be with him but I know that I dont want a long distance relationship. We cant be in a normal relationship for at least two more years because of our different school paths. It seems like a hopeless future. We have no control except to forget about our goals and just move to be with the other person. Either way, one person has to sacrifice something and thats not fair. We have been together for a year and 10 months, and September will be our 2nd year. Sometimes I think back and wonder how it wouldve been if we never went out or decided to break up when he got kicked out. Long distance relationships take a lot of effort on both people, as well as money and time. It isnt easy and I dont advice it for anyone. I think its very important to both have the same goals or understand each other's priorities and make sure to give each other space or privacy for study and alone time. I dont have solutions either which is why my boyfriend and I are still together. We cant bear to be apart however the thought of breaking up and waiting for the time when we can be together in a normal relationship seems too risky and too long of a wait.
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| Back to Xanga, I cant believe it. I havent used this thing since high school...!
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